I had this post written in my head about how when I was pregnant I had an amniocentesis done and the results came back that Nathan is chromosomally perfect. Yet he doesn’t eat cheese. And he is my son. Clearly, I reflected, there should be a recount. Then today I won the Mother of the Year Award and all of the sudden his health doesn’t seem so funny.
For about six weeks now Nathan has been screaming at every diaper change. I thought he was just antsy about being forced to be still for more than a few seconds. About this time he started pulling at not one, but both of his ears. No cold symptoms, so I chalked it up to the fact he cut four teeth in less than four weeks. “They can’t distinguish the subtleties of ear pain versus jaw pain,” I read. Four days ago the poop, well, let’s just say it wasn’t pleasant. I thought it was the rusty bathwater – that I didn’t know was rusty until the bubbles went away – he drank.
Today I broke down and did what my gut told me to do six weeks ago. I took him to the clinic. Guess what? Two severe ear infections and a swollen and inflamed throat. Sigh. Good Job, Michelle! Well done you!
When he was a few hours old the nurse in the hospital insisted he needed to be supplemented with formula. I fought it. She fought me. I fought a little more. She fought a lot more. She won. To be fair she wasn’t on painkillers, otherwise I’m sure I could have wrestled her to the ground. Anyway, she insisted that he have THREE OUNCES. In case you are unfamiliar with the a newborn’s gastrointestinal tract, at a couple of hours old their stomachs are the size of marbles – not even the shooter kind of marbles. No, their wee stomachs are the size of the wee lame marbles you willingly gave away to your little brother. Ain’t no way three ounces goes in a lame wee marble. However, I let her tell me what to do and David dutifully stuffed three ounces of formula into Nathan. When David lifted Nathan to vertical position he was a formula fountain. All three ounces came drooling down his chin. It was as though he was literally full to the back of his throat. I’d never seen anything like it before and I haven’t since. I swore right then and there that I would always advocate for what my gut says is best for Nathan. And I have. Until six weeks ago when I let myself be talked / read out of taking him in to see the doctor.
I’m sorry you’ve been miserable for six freaking weeks, Nathan. I promise to try to be a better advocate for you. Even if you don’t eat cheese. Of any kind. Ever.
August 10th, 2008 at 7:15 am
I can only imagine it’s a difficult line to tread between being a good advocate and a hysterical mother.
Here’s hoping Nathan feels better soon.
[Reply]
countess shell Reply:
August 10th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Thanks! The antibiotics seem to be helping - not a single screaming diaper change today!
We took him to the ER when he was six months old and every person we came in contact with asked us if we were first time parents and then smiled condescendingly. It really annoyed me and it’s a reason why I didn’t take him sooner. I didn’t want to be wasting anyone’s time. Grrrr.
[Reply]
August 10th, 2008 at 7:33 am
Don’t beat yourself up about it, it is so hard to tell when kids are sick and when they are just being ornery. It’s a blessing when they get old enough that they can tell you when something hurts! I hope Nathan feels better soon.
[Reply]
countess shell Reply:
August 10th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Thanks! He seems better today. He NEVER complains. He’s just not much of a crier and now I know to take it incredibly seriously when he does cry.
[Reply]
August 11th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Oh girl, I know you’re beating yourself up about this (I would be too) but try not to. I think you’re one of the most amazing mothers I know! Glad to hear he’s doing better!
[Reply]
countess shell Reply:
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Thank you, dear.
[Reply]
August 19th, 2008 at 4:42 am
Hi. I think it’s a special power mother’s are given (our instincts, guts, whatever you want to call it). Like the superhero who can’t control their newfound strength, however, we don’t always understand it’s reality. I have a one year old and a ten year old (both boys). I knew when my older boy was breastfeeding he needed to be in a dark, quiet room to nurse (no other people, no distractions, no radio - nothing) that his focus level was ‘an issue’. It continued to be so for years and I discussed my concern with family. My mother, my husband, the teachers - everyone - said ‘he’s just an active boy - give him time to settle down’. Long story - sorry. Anyway, he’s not ‘just an active boy’. He has an extreme case of ADHD (I promise, this is not just zealous doctors overdiagnosing) and I couldn’t begin to help him properly cope until I understood what it was. I have been kicking myself for years about not having him tested sooner and all the time he has lost because I listened to ‘everyone else’ over my Mother’s Instinct.
Point? Yes (aside from my using your blog to vent). We’re human too - us moms. Move on and don’t make that mistake again. You’ve got many others waiting to happen!
[Reply]
countess shell Reply:
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:39 pm
And we took him in today because he was exhibiting the same signs and low and behold he has fluid in both ears. They say they aren’t infected, but to watch. Listened to my gut and I was right.
Thank you for sharing your story. I thought of it today before I placed the call for an appointment.
[Reply]