Attitude Adjustment

Have you ever woken yourself up sneezing? I have. Three times just last night. Clearly – unless I was sleep walking in the garden, which there is no evidence that I was – there is no grass seed floating around the bedroom at one in the morning. Or three. Or seven. Why is this happening? Do I have bad karma? I have tried to live a good life. I don’t hit small children or old people. I tell those I love that I love them. Often.

And unfortunately the first sneeze was enough to wake up David and send him downstairs unable to sleep. I have an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow for my foot / ankle I wonder if he’d be willing to discuss my allergies? Wishful thinking, I know. Mostly, I want to get out of there without a cast. That would make me most happy. Sneezy, but happy – like two dwarves for the price of one!

Now that I’ve said I try to live a good life I will admit that David and I had the following conversation this weekend on our way to Starbucks for the most loverly drink I love: a venti, decaf, non-fat, sugar-free vanilla latte. Absolutely nothing in it and yet it tastes just like dessert. I love things that have nothing in them, but are completely fulfilling to my sense of taste and texture. What was I saying? Right. So David and I had the following conversation this weekend…

Countess Shell (while driving past the doggie park chock full of people and doggies): I don’t get the whole doggie park culture. And, dude, would you really go to the doggie park in your flip-flops? Gross.

David: Yeah I don’t get it either. Do people go there to pick up on each other or what?

CS: Dude. Flip-flops. Some guy is standing in the middle of the torn up sod in the doggie park in his flip-flops. And it rained this week. Ew.

A little further on, maybe a quarter of a mile, we passed a soccer field chock full of oodles and oodles of soccer players and this exchange took place…

D: And I don’t get the soccer culture either.

CS: Me either. Who wants to get up at the crack of dawn and run for another.

D: Who wants to spend that much time with a group of people.

CS: (laughs)

D: No, really. I don’t know any group of people I would want to spend that much time with a on regular basis. People suck. Do you know a group of people who don’t suck that you would want to spend that much time with?

CS: Nope. People suck.

It was little while later, after touring some model homes and more importantly fortified with Starbucks, that we came to the conclusion that we really need to work on our attitudes. And that our attitudes took a swift dive with the whole Lowe’s floor debacle and requesting lawsuit. However, since we’re pushing the two year mark with Lowe’s I can’t imagine finally getting a check from them will actually do anything to improve our attitudes.

Not all people suck – just contractors, lawyers, and big box home improvement stores named Lowe’s. Not everyone is only out for themselves – just contractors, lawyers, and big box home improvement stores named Lowe’s. Sure people do stupid things sometimes, I had a perm in the 1980’s, but that doesn’t make them inherently stupid. I miss the me and David that didn’t automatically see the negative in every situation. However, we’re working on that, and really at the end of the name can you ask for more?