Consider yourself updated …

Here in the castle renovations continue, but at a much slower pace. We’ve been struck almost dead by the bird flu. And what good Americans are we? We’re bunkered down in the castle and avoiding people like we have the actual plague. We’re stopping the bird flu dead in its tracks just for you. Granted, I didn’t know we had the bird flu until the doctor stuck a q-tip up nose this morning. So I guess I was out and about for that. And we can’t be expected to stay bunkered down without cupcakes, can we? Shut up. We cannot. So I may have stopped at the market on the way home from the doctor. However, David is doing his civil duty and staying away from people – we’re assuming he has the flu too even without the q-tip sticking because he has the same symptoms. And his doctor is across the freaking bay. He did sleep on a chaise in the backyard for a good part of the day. I wonder if he infected the songbirds that live in our trees? That wouldn’t be at all nice. Nor would it be stopping the bird flu in its track. In fact, it would be spreading it.

As far as the actual renovation to the castle offices, we stopped last night and picked up the cabinets. I drove over the bay and met David after work for our shopping excursion. Yes, we had the bird flu then. Yes, we wandered around with our shoulders slumped over and saying, “Huh?” in response to everything. Yes, we were probably infecting others, but we didn’t know it at the time. I thought I was having a reaction to the new allergy medications. And I, uh, thought, uh, that David was having, uh, sympathy reactions. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Unless you press really hard and offer a cupcake. Then I’ll probably fold like a house of cards because I’m sick and I have a weakness for cupcakes.

As I was sitting in rush hour traffic headed towards the bridge – and really why was there traffic going the direction I was going? The road dead-ends into a hill. From where were all the people coming? Were they all from my neighborhood? Because while we’re track housing there ain’t that many houses. And surely not everyone in my neighborhood gets to work from home like me. And even if they did, they couldn’t have all been going to meet their Davids at Togo’s.

I’m stopped at a light in Union City. Up next to me pulls an enormous SUV. My first thought was, oh dear, so sorry about your penis. Then I realized it was a Union City police vehicle. What? The price of gas is roughly $47 a gallon and the police, who drive all day, are driving around enormous SUVs? Then I thought maybe there was a reason. Like the all the snow we get. Because police need to get to people in snowy weather, right? Oh wait. Nope. No snow in northern California. Oh! It must be the torrential rains we get that wash out the roads on the regular basis. Hrmm. No. That can’t be it since most years we get nice, polite showers for six months. Alas, I’m forced to go with my original thought, oh dear, so sorry about your penis.

We managed to struggle our way through the cabinet buying process. We were able to grab Togo’s sandwiches for supper and make it home in time to watch Lost. Although instead we taped it. We’re not yet a Tivo household. Heck, we’re not really a cable household. What with the just basic cable we’ve got going on. So while Lost taped I built the small cabinet. Then David fixed my mistakes and now the top fits.

David would get lots and lots of kudos for going cabinet shopping with the flu. And some more for fixing my assembly mistakes without once mocking me or telling me to actually look at the directions. However. However, he waited until the start of the third overtime in the hockey game to go up and brush his teeth so he’d be ready for bed when the game ended. Everyone knows you don’t screw with hockey mojo. You simply cannot leave the room during play. It just isn’t done. And if the Sharks don’t make it out of this round the fault is squarely on his shoulders. Not that I was listening to the game. What with hockey being dead to me and all. No, I wasn’t listening to the game. I have ESP and I knew the third overtime had started when he left the sofa. Again, that’s my story.

Unless you have cupcakes. And maybe some lotion-y tissues?